I’m not a fussy eater. I would say I’m pretty open-minded about most foods. I will try anything once, and maybe a second time, to make sure it’s not to my taste. And I’ll try it again a few years later ( like 30 years) to make sure my tastes haven’t changed. Hence beets, Brussels sprouts, Roquefort dressing and other things have become a part of my eating habits as I’ve aged. But at 60 I’ve decided I’m old enough to dislike certain foods without apologizing.
My dislikes aren’t a problem for me; they’re so few and general that avoiding them is really not a lot of work. The only time it gets difficult is when my P.S. wants to cook with them or he tries to tell me why my tongue is wrong. Really, that is as ridiculous as it sounds. Sometimes there aren’t reasons why you dislike something, you just do. Other times I do have reasons.
I don’t demand everyone like the foods that I do. I don’t insist they like my cooking certain items they dislike. I’d like them to take one bite, but even that’s optional. I’m not a bully. Do you have foods you dislike that people insist must be eaten? Here are a few of mine.
Sriracha- I like to pick out the flavors in a dish, not turn my mouth into an inferno so that I have to drink massive amounts of fluids to restore my mouth’s health. You people are crazy. I’m going to protect my tongue because I want it to last a long time.
Cilantro– putting a half cup of chopped cilantro into a dish is going to taste like.. cilantro. If you like it that much, make a cilantro salad. I want to taste other things in a dish besides the overly strong and bitter green taste of cilantro. I’m also one of those weirdos to whom cilantro tastes like soap. How do I know how soap tastes? I may or may not have uttered a swear word as a child….
Speaking of cilantro, let’s decide if we’re all going to call it cilantro or coriander. Or Chinese parsley. We should have a clear name and definition of this herb since everyone’s bent on putting it in every dish from now on.
Other People’s Chili– I will NEVER like anyone else’s chili. I only like my own, in whatever variation I choose to make. Mystery chili (aka everyone else’s efforts) will never be as good. I like to know what is in it, and how hot it is before I eat it.
Lobster– I know it’s a high priced delicacy that everyone seems to adore, but I think it tastes boring and chews like someone overcooked the shrimp by about an hour. I just don’t get it.
Venison– I will eat all meats, domestic or wild, except deer. Yes, it does have a distinctive taste, just like liver does, and no, I will never learn to like it. I tried. Many times. Even in enchiladas the venison taste announces itself.
Black coffee– I don’t like the flavor, or lack thereof. I like my coffee iced, with soy milk, and sugar-free flavorings. I don’t want my coffee to taste much like coffee. I do however LOVE the smell of coffee and think Glade should come out with a Starbucks coffee-scented air freshener spray for the bathroom.
Small fish– I was a Minnesotan, small fish are supposed to be used as bait. Don’t put them in a can and expect me to eat them. All those little eyes staring up at you are criticizing you for being a bad fisherman/fisherwoman. Throw them back so they can get bigger.
Cooked raisins– I love raisins straight out of a box or coated in chocolate. If you warm them up and make them mooshy, I’m not going to eat them. It’s like eating good fruit gone bad, I just can’t swallow them. Who decided to take fruit they let get old and wrinkled, throw it in water or dough and cook them until they’re mushy again, and eat it? Any part of this good, bad, good plan is annoying.
Oysters– in any way, shape or form. Particularly raw, on the half shell. That’s like swallowing a giant snot gob. Kleenix created tissues for their disposal. I do, however, collect pearl jewelry. I like how oysters work, not how they taste.
Greek yogurt– I won’t eat it, plain or flavored, on its own. I’ll use it in recipes if forced, but on its own Greek yogurt tastes like it’s seriously past its expiration date. I like sour cream, cottage cheese, and regular yogurt, so maybe it doesn’t make sense. I tried it and hated it. It makes sense to me.
Jello– there is never room for Jello. Is it even a real food? Its mysterious and mucous-like qualities should be avoided, in my opinion. Eat real fruit, it’s good for you.
Bananas– I like them in things (banana bread!) but not on their own. I think it’s a texture issue; they’re slimy and mushy. I will on rare occasion eat one that is slightly green, but never with spots. They’re too sweet and mushy.
Nuts– I love, love, love them plain. I hate, hate, hate them in anything cooked or baked. Besides pecan pie. Then I will do a face-plant into the pie tin and eat my way out.
Milk– being mildly lactose intolerant I avoid milk but I really hate the flavor as well. This is maybe a childhood thing. When we set the table for dinner we had to pour milk for the kids and water for our parents. It sat until dinner was served and was often no longer cold. My siblings put ice in it, some still to this day ice their milk. I simply stopped drinking it. Gimme cheese!
Celery– yes, harmless celery that has fewer calories than water if you chew it enough, is not my cud. It is bitter and stringy and smearing it with cheese or peanut butter doesn’t make it less so.
Diet fruit juices– holy acid, Batman! Did you accidentally mislabel the fluid that should be used to clean off the corroded terminals of my car battery? It’s best to go without if you want to avoid the high sugar content in fruit juices!
Natural peanut butter– my P.S. and I are at a standoff. I want regular creamy pb and he insists on natural. He says it doesn’t separate. Every time I open the jar it has a layer of clear oil on top. Does it hide from him and only show its true qualities to me? He can have his natural greasy mess, I’ll stick to Skippy.
Coconut– I just don’t like it unless it’s toasted and stuck in caramel on a Girl Scout Cookie.
Lemon Meringue Pie– Because: meringue. It reminds me of divinity. Also a dislike.
Dark chocolate– My final dislike, bordering on hate, is dark chocolate. When I put it in my mouth my first thought is: someone forgot an ingredient in this, like milk or sugar or something. It tastes like a chocolate experiment gone bad. I think everyone that raves about it has bad taste buds. Milk chocolate is comfort food. Dark chocolate is like licking cocoa powder. A bad idea.